Society tells us that we are supposed to naturally know how to have sex. The desire to have sex is natural, but the skills to be a great lover or to engage fully in sex aren’t. The truth is that people need to learn how to have great sex. Social animals (including humans) learn skills through modeling and explicit instruction.
Since sex is something that is shamed in our culture, talking about it or giving explicit instruction still remains rare. Young adults have very few good ways to learn how to have satisfying sex. A few will be lucky enough to have a partner teach them.
Unfortunately, most people don’t give good feedback, so many people end up not knowing what makes for great sex. This is where working with a good sexuality coach can be very helpful. Sex is learnable and teachable. The best way to learn about it is to get feedback from an experienced, non-judgmental and cheer-leading person. It’s most helpful if they also understand both the physiology and the psychology of sex.
Most people don’t have any idea how their body really works, what they authentically desire in bed, what kind of a relationship they really want, or how to talk about sex in a healthy, open, respectful way.
At no point in most of our lives is healthy, open sexual communication ever modeled for us. It’s super common for folks to feel ashamed, awkward, frustrated, or just plain lost when it comes to openly and easily talking about sexual needs and desires.
Sexuality coaching is a powerful way to rewrite the rules so that they work for you, so you can thrive. Sex can be awkward. Sex can feel like a burden. And so often we feel inadequate or broken.
A sexuality coach can help you realize that you’re normal, healthy, and deserving of love, pleasure, and respect.
Having a coach to help walk with you through the tough stuff can get you where you want to go much faster than you would on your own. It’s like having a cheerleader, an accountability buddy, and a sexpert helping you navigate all the tricky places where you typically get stuck.
Like many things, coaching can completely transform the rest of your life or it can be a little blip on the radar – the determining factor is how ready you are to do the work and how open you are to trying on some new perspectives.